THE DAY 24 MADE SENSE

 

I was thinking this morning.... It's been 24 hours since I had this strange experience. I am still not sure if it was a dream, or an out-of-body encounter. It started like I was the main character in a movie shot at 24 frames per second (fps).

I saw my younger self dressed like a bling-bling American rapper adorned with a number of 24-carat gold chains. I was introduced to this damsel, who was about 24 years old.

We both walked before a podium with a man dressed in all white. Like in Revelation 4:4 there were 24 elders around the podium, all smiling at us. I was initially troubled in my subconscious, wondering if we were before the judgement seat.

While still wondering what was going on, the man raised a board with words written on them that I couldn't decode. The words had all 24 letters of the greek alphabet. At this point, it felt like I would need a Daniel for interpretation and construction. I was really confused.

Without saying a word, we were served freshly cooked rice garnished with avocado and served in clay pots. What is going on? I asked. Still no reply but another note that says rice and avocados have 24 pairs of chromosomes.

"We are not going to touch this food until I am told what's going on. Just make it make sense, please." I pleaded with a slightly raised voice. He smiled and answered in a soft tone, it's your 24th wedding anniversary also known as earthenware i.e. clay pots or glazed pottery.

Phew!!! It was a dream afterall.

And so, on this anniversary, my heart settles on this truth: Just like we each have 24 ribs protecting the heart and lungs, marriage, too, is a kind of ribcage—protecting dreams, shielding vulnerabilities, guarding the life we’re building.

After 24 years, I am grateful. Humbled. Hopeful. And ready for the chapters ahead.

Happy 24th anniversary to us.

THE POWER OF A PUSH

 

I was thinking this morning… Two seemingly unrelated moments at work this past week converged into one powerful reminder about progress, leadership, and the hidden hands that propel us forward.

The first was a close-out presentation by a graduate trainee who had spent a year in my department. Her delivery was strong, confident, and well-received. But my mind went back to her early days when she was slow, hesitant and unsure of how to take on big assignments.

At the time, I encouraged her to schedule weekly one-on-one sessions with key team leads, including myself. She showed up consistently. She listened, learned, practiced, and grew. Month after month, I watched her transform into someone who now stands tall in her competence.

As she took a bow after her presentation, an old English proverb crossed my mind: “A rolling stone gathers no moss.” But the Warri pidgin English version said it better: “A rolling stone — na person push am.”

The second moment came later that same day, during an appreciation hangout I organised for my team. The event was held at a facility we had recently leased to what we assumed was a small businesswoman. Within a few short weeks, she had completely transformed the place.

I wondered how she pulled it off so quickly. Then I learned she had the backing of a major financier. Again, the same proverb echoed — “A rolling stone — na person push am.” Progress often has an unseen catalyst.

The real insight to me was that while some people have the internal drive to roll forward on their own, many simply need a push — a spark, an advocate, a believer. And that push can change everything.

Throughout my career, I’ve been moved forward by unexpected people who chose to invest in me. Their support made all the difference. As leaders, we must never forget the power of that nudge. Every so often, choose someone to push — to mentor, to encourage, to sponsor. Because sometimes the distance between potential and performance… is just one push.

Ephesians 4:29, says, "Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs".

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE HUNTER AND THE GOAT

 

I was thinking this morning.... Last week I noticed an anomaly in one of my bathrooms. Whenever I open the sink tap, water flows from the shower tap. I couldn't understand why and had to call my plumber. When he arrived, I relayed the problem to him. He just turned the hot water knob and the problem was solved. He then explained that the reason the shower tap flowed when the sink tap was opened was because someone had left the hot water tap in the open position. I thanked him as he left. Zero kobo requested.

Same day, my young wife came to me with one of her handbags that the hook in the handle/strap had pulled off. This had happened days before, and she had taken it to a cobbler but it had happened again. As soon as I saw the problem, I depressed a portion of the hook and it snapped into position. Problem solved. My young wife stood there puzzled but smiling and then said, 'you mean it was just pushing this hook the right way that the cobbler took N5,000 for?' The cobbler had made sure he didn't fix the strap in her presence by asking her to come back in 30 mins.

Both actions were simple. But the mindset behind them was very different. One saw “turning a knob” as too small to be paid for. The other saw “pressing a hook” as an opportunity to make quick money. What exactly is work that deserves to be paid for? At what point does ‘easy money’ become something else entirely?

The reflection reminded me of an African proverb that says a hunter that comes back home with a goat, is a thief. The reasoning behind the proverb is that goats are domestic, while hunters are meant to hunt in the forest. You can't go hunting in someone's backyard. Could that be the case of the cobbler?

Does making easy money make one a thief? Could that be regarded as a low hanging fruit? When next you see a poor Nigerian gets into a political position and few months after, comes back home with luxury cars, just remember the proverb. Easy money feels good. But money earned with integrity feels better — and lasts longer. "Wealth gained by dishonesty will be diminished, but he who gathers by labor will increase” (Prov 3:11).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

LESSONS FROM GADUWA

I was thinking this morning..... The music started with a 10 minutes instrumental, followed by a number of 'ehn, ohh, ehn, ohh.' Then the song. 'You be thief (I no be thief); You be rogue (I no be rogue); You dey steal (I no dey steal); You be robber (I no be robber); You be armed robber (I no be armed robber); Argument, argument, argue (argument, argument); Them argue, everbody dem argue (argument, argument).

That was Fela Anikulapo Kuti's 1980 'Authority Stealing.' The song played in my head as I watched the videos of the FCT Minister and the young naval officer, when the Minister went to enforce land revocation in the Gaduwa district area of Abuja last week. The fierce conversation of 'Will you stop that..! (I am an officer. I have integrity..!). Shut up your mouth (I won't shut up. You can't shut me up). You are a big fool (I am not a fool, sir. I am acting on orders) had since gone viral.

As I watched the videos and subsequent reactions of Nigerians, the personal and national embarrassment I felt reminded me of a number of African proverbs. I initially wondered about the import of my line of thought but the longer I pondered on the proverb, the clearer the lessons from the fiasco.

The first proverb says "When a pastor and a prostitute are locked together in a room, one must convert the other." Hmm! I'm not sure who between the two was the pastor or the prostitute, what I know was that one left the venue converted. No matter how forceful you are about your conviction, you will be proselytized by another with calmness, humility and integrity.

I was still thinking on the first proverb when another dropped. "The anus is good for trumpet but who will blow it." Na wa o. This proverb strong o. I thought. Sometimes, there are people and situations that are difficult to defend or speak up for. Ordinarily, they should be perfect example to project, but because of the shame they have brought, everyone hides away.

One key lesson from the Gaduwa encounter is encapsulated by the proverb that says "a wise man does not urinate facing the wind." If you do, you will leave there smelling like piss. No matter what you do in life, optics matter. No wonder Proverbs 22:1 says "A good name is more desirable than great riches; to be esteemed is better than silver or gold."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

CHOOSE YOUR SHAME WISELY

 

I was thinking this morning..... I have always known shame to be a negative emotion, but experts say the feeling of shame is a normal part of the human experience and that it is what sets us apart from all other species. Some even believe there are three types of shame - the good, the bad and the ugly.

The ‘good’ kind of shame also called "healthy shame" is the shame that helps us to feel a sense of guilt or remorse when we’ve acted badly. With healthy shame you hear someone say "I feel bad because I made a mistake.” Bad or unhealthy shame on the other hand is when we refuse to look at ourselves but rather overreact and attack or blame someone else. You hear someone say “You’re the problem because you made a mistake.” The most harmful kind of shame, toxic shame, is the kind that leaves us feeling like we are less than worthy human beings and leads to chronic feelings of depression and low self-esteem. You hear someone say “I’m a mistake.”

I was still reflecting on this when President Trump called Nigeria a disgraced country, threatening to send troops to wipe out the terrorists killing Christians, if the government does nothing. From government to the masses, everyone that had hitherto been silent on the death across Nigeria, now had a voice. Instead of confronting the truth with humility, many Nigerians instead raged, attacking Trump. I shook my head and said "Chai! Nigerians, choose your shame wisely."

In the face of the serious national issue and talk of genocide or no genocide, social media was overtaken by the domestic problems of a billionaire and his estranged celebrity wife. Like seriously? So sad that the spouse you chose is bringing you such toxic shame.

The truth is, many in choosing their spouses and friends have made choices that brought them shame. My prayer is that the spouse and friends we choose will not bring us toxic shame. Choose your friends and spouse wisely, because by so doing you might also be choosing your shame. May God guide us in choosing our friends and spouse wisely. Isaiah 54:4 says "Fear not; for thou shalt not be ashamed: neither be thou confounded; for thou shalt not be put to shame."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

DEAD MEN DON'T KEEP APPOINTMENTS

I was thinking this morning.... I was at the airport waiting for my flight to Lagos days ago when my phone chimed. When I checked, I saw a message from a member of my university class, who seldom reaches out. Her first line message 'Not sure if you are already aware' caught my attention. She was still typing when I called her line, just to be informed that one of us had lost her husband in a ghastly motor accident along the Benin-Ore road. 'Our friend is terribly devastated,' she concluded.

Being the coordinator for the class alumni group, I immediately informed the class of the sad news and commenced planning for a team to visit her the next day. Four of us agreed to pay the condolence visit between 11.30 am and 12.30 pm.

I set out early the next day to be able to keep to the agreed time. Unfortunately, due to the unpredictable Lagos traffic, it wasn't until past 12 noon, that we eventually went in to see our friend. She was all tears when she saw us and told us how her beloved husband is no more with her. We mourned with her and did our best to comfort her amidst sobs.

Less than 30 minutes later, I was itching to leave because I had a 2 pm meeting I was to facilitate. As I sat beside our sobbing friend, apologising for having to leave so soon to keep an appointment, I heard a voice in my spirit saying, 'dead men don't keep appointments.' I was yet to fully take in the message when my friend said, 'Hmm! All the appointments my husband had now amounts to nothing.'

As my other friends walked me outside, I finally understood the Togolese proverb that says 'the only woman who knows where her man is every night is a widow.' The message finally sank. Dead men don't keep appointments. As we walked, one of us, who I hadn't seen since we left school 34 years ago, brought up the issue of having periodic re-unions. He had said, 'It's 34 years since we left school. We couldn't find time to come together to celebrate, but have now found time because of a tragedy.' We nodded in agreement even as I again came to the realisation that dead classmates don't do re-unions.

Stay connected. Live happy and give thanks in all circumstances. 1st Thes 5:18.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

Mama! Na Boy O!

 

I was thinking this morning... It was a normal day at work as I walked with some friends towards the staff canteen. As we approached, another colleague walking out of the canteen saw me and said loudly, "Mama! Na boy o." I immediately responded, "Na boy o." He followed up saying, "The boys don become men o." The friends I was with looked at us, wondering what our coded language meant. As I walked along smiling, I recalled how it all began.

It was a cool Saturday morning on the island of Bonny. We started our day like any other day and were preparing for the day when my young wife went into labour. I immediately drove her to the hospital in the residential area where we lived. As the nurses wheeled her into the delivery room, I found out two other colleagues had also brought their wives for delivery. As the medical personnel did their thing, the three would-be fathers held their breath while waiting by the corridor.

After about 30 minutes (one of the longest in my life), the door to the delivery room opened and a nurse walked out and announced to me that my young wife had given birth to a baby boy. Overwhelmed with joy and with my co-expectant fathers congratulating me, I picked up my phone to announce the good news to my parents in Warri. As my mum picked up at the first ring, I announced with glee, "Mama! Na boy o."

My colleagues with me laughed at my chosen mode of announcement. This was because "Mama! Na boy o" was a popular 2003 MTN advert at the time. It happened that the wives of my other colleagues also gave birth to boys the same day. That day was exactly 20 years ago last Wednesday. Twenty years after, we still greet each other with "Mama! Na boy o."

"Mama! Na boy o!" is not just a playful greeting between two fathers; rather, it's a reminder of the faithfulness of God. It's a reminder that it doesn't matter how long the night is, joy comes in the morning (Psalms 30:5). It's a reminder that if you stay the course, all things will fall into place. Though the boys of yesterday have become men today, the event of October 22, 2005, will always remind me of "Mama! Na boy o."

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey