THE BOY WITH OVERSIZED SHORT

 

I was thinking this morning..... Still on the wedding of the daughter of my Hussey College classmate in Ontario, Canada, 39 years after we left school. My young wife and I got to the venue of the trad early, just to ensure we were part of all the action. One by one, guests walked into the living room, colourfully dressed in traditional Niger Delta outfit. While I recognised just a few of my classmates, almost every one of them recognised me. I'm not sure why, though.

While musing, Usifo walked over to where I was with another of our classmates. I didn't at all pick his face from the past, even though the name rang a bell. I was still digging into the deep recesses of my memory when Usifo said, "Weyimi, I remember you quite well. You were very small while we were in school and always wore oversized shorts." He concluded by gesturing to the shorts being below my knees.

After laughing off the joke, his words played back in my head. Not the fact that I was smallish but the memory that I wore oversized shorts. I recalled that the oversized short was not a fashion statement but rather an economic strategy by my parents. My short was oversized either because I was to wear it for several years or because it was passed down from my elder brother.

As I thought about Usifo's remarks, I was initially disappointed in myself. Usifo did not remember me for something positively grand, like being the best student in class or an outstanding prefect. He remembered me for my oversized shorts. Chai! He didn't even remember me for being a fine boy or well-behaved student, but of everything about a student, he remembered my oversized shorts. Usifo, why? Lol.

But then, I thought again. While in Hussey College, there were many students that Principal Ojo gave his signature slap for truancy. I am thankful that Usifo did not remember me as one of the receivers. He also didn't remember me as the boy that stole or for any other vice. He remembered me for my oversized shorts.

Thanks to Usifo, I got a renewed sense that it is better to be remembered for a bad outfit than for a bad character. What you wear is external and will not define your personality, but what you do to others will define who you are, and that's what you will be remembered for. Be intentional about having a good name rather than a great fashion sense or riches (Proverbs 22:1).

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

TABLE 19

 

I was thinking this morning...... Two days after the traditional wedding of the daughter of our Hussey College classmate was the white wedding, and every one of us had dressed up in our aso-ebi. Again, a Niger Delta attire. As we arrived at the venue, I had planned to go sit with my close friends in the Hussey College Class of 86, but the organisers had a different plan. We were directed to go check our table on the display board at the entrance. My young wife and I had been assigned to Table 19.

I wasn't sure who was assigned to my table and was bracing up for a boring four hours. On getting to Table 19, double chief Lucky Memene, his wife and daughter, the lovely Clara Uyi Reinicke, the irrepressible Maureen Iyere, the amiable Favour Orere and Tony Dale were already seated. These were familiar faces but not my regular pals while we were in school. With a chair short, Tony Dale happily volunteered to give up his seat so my young wife and I could have a seat at Table 19. He left for another table. Lucky Braimoh, who was originally assigned to Table 19, came in later on but joined another table because there was no more seat at Table 19.

As we drove back home after the event, I imagined how the journey of life can be akin to Table 19. Just like I came to the event not choosing where and who to sit with, no one selected their parents when they were born and, to a large extent, not even their friends. Life brought us all together at Table 19.

Like Tony and Lucky, who eventually left Table 19 to another table, we sometimes separate from those we started life with and sojourn with new friends. We must, however, maintain a good relationship with them. Interactions on Table 19 started slowly but picked up tempo when we embraced our individuality and enjoyed the company of each other. Our conversations connected, and we left as closer friends on Table 19.

Life has placed every one of us at our respective Table 19, seating you with family, classmates, colleagues, and others. What you make out of Table 19 depends on you. Embrace those life has paired you with and be kind to them. If you must leave to join another group like Tony, do so happily and without acrimony. Like the Rotarians would say, "Make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, and the other is gold." Romans 12:18 is also instructive.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WE ARE BUT CHILDREN

 

I was thinking this morning.... This past weekend, the daughter of my secondary school classmate got married in Toronto, Canada. With adequate notice, over 20 classmates travelled from Nigeria, Europe, and North America to honour our friend and classmate. It was a re-union of some sort and the first time of reconnecting with some classmates after 39 years.

While the day was meant to be for the daughter of our friend, it turned out to be a mamas' and papas' fun day. With every of our classmate that walked into the venue of the traditional wedding, there was a shout from someone hailing a friend he hadn't seen in years. We laughed, hugged, and threw banters at each other.

As we made these loud noises, my daughter sat close by watching our every action. I am sure she was wondering what the heck was wrong with these old folks. As the 'yabbies' continued, I wondered how and why we weren't behaving like parents and grandparents that we are. I looked around me and realised that amongst our childhood friends, we were all but children.

When the paying of the bride price was over, we gathered to dance with the couple at a small reception behind the house. The noisy Hussey College group was there to sing the school anthem, and then something unexpected happened. The Mother of the Bride (MOB) stood up to sing a song and boom. What followed was the most bizarre song a truant college student could ever sing. One that would immediately attract punishment from the school principal. Everyone was left in stitches from the laughter. The bride sat there, probably wondering why her mum and her friends were acting like children. She had no idea that amongst your childhood friends, you are but a child.

The next day, we all packed ourselves like kids going for excursion and headed for a fun day at Niagara Falls. Without the thoughts of school fees or family and work challenges, we experienced the freedom of kids. But wait a minute, amongst your childhood friends, aren't we all kids?

There are few occasions where an adult is truly childlike. One of such is when you are with your childhood friends or classmates. Take a break from being a father, mother, pastor, boss, oga and madam, and just be a child for a day. It would do you a lot of good. In Matthew 18:3, Jesus admonished us to be like children.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE PLATE AND THE PALATE

 

I was thinking this morning.... I was still doing my Masters, when I ran into a former classmate in Benin City. It was a time we were in a hurry to make it. He was looking good and had great panache or like we say, e don hammer. He invited a friend and I for lunch and we obliged. After all, student no dey reject free food. As we gisted, I observed his transformation from our days at the university and was determined to understand his template.

We settled into this popular restaurant in town and placed our order. Of course, someone else was paying, so we ordered 'orobo' portion. As the food was being placed before me, I suddenly heard my stomach grumbling and my mouth salivating. It was like my hunger had doubled. It must be true that the content of the plate determines the reaction of the palate.

Without hesitation, I dug into the dish and kept going until I was full. It was only then that I started to see and think clearly. Like the Scripture says, the eyes of my understanding became open. I started noticing things about my friend that made me contemplate.

After an hour of gisting, I still couldn't say exactly how he made the money he was spending. From his expensive smelling frangrance to his designer clothes, I imagined how what he was spending could pay my school fees ten times over. What about his wristwatch? Hmm! It was even gold plated.

The more I saw, the stronger my doubt about the source of his wealth, and the more I got uncomfortable and decided to cut short the outing. We shook hands one more time as he dropped us off on campus. As he turned to speed away, I looked again to wave a goodbye, and I caught a glimpse of the licence. Wow! His nickname was on the number plate.

As I opened the gate and walked towards my room at the BQ, I recalled the words of Proverbs 1:10, 'My son, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.' I re-appraised my values one more time. I would rather enjoy a plate of jollof rice cooked with firewood than pretend to be a big boy using an electric hotplate.

The devil will always tempt us with the luxury of life to derail us, but Ephesians 6:14 had admonished us to stand, gird our waist with truth, and have righteousness as our breastplate.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

WHERE YOU DEY CARRY ME DEY GO?

 

I was thinking this morning morning..... Have you ever flown those intercontinental flights that take about 14 hours? I did it a couple of times in my younger years without hassle. On such a flight, you eat, watch movies, read, sleep, wake up, watch movies again, stand to stretch your legs, but the trip never seems to end. Like Fela sang in one of his oldies, the trip go tire your body. E go tire your mind.

This was my feeling on a recent trip, and I couldn't but recall the experience of a young Warri girl, as told by a colleague. In his early days in one of the oil companies in Warri, his colleague, who was single at the time, got an international posting. In order not to sojourn in the far away land alone, he hurriedly perfected his wedding to his Warri girlfriend.

It was a dream come true for this Warri girl, travelling abroad for the first time, and more so, with the love of her life. When the journey started, it was wonderful. She ate, watched movies, and gisted with her husband, but the journey was just beginning. She slept and woke up after a few hours, yet they were not there. At one point, doubt about her safety and whether she could really trust the man she just got married to, started to creep in.

A couple of hours later, the doubt had changed to fear and the fear had taken the better part of her enthusiasm. She turned and looked at her newly wed husband straight in the eyes and said, "My guy, where you dey carry me dey go?" Before her husband could explain, she broke into tears. According to my colleague, it took other passengers to console this young Warri girl that her husband was not taking her for slave trade.

Sometimes, we all have doubts about the process and journey of life. You left your job and comfort zone, convinced by a friend, to travel abroad for greener pastures. Or you recently made a big decision in your career or business that you thought was going to change your life. Now, a few years on, and you are not sure anymore. It's okay to cry and ask, "Lord, where you dey carry me dey go?"

If God is the one that is taking you, relax and fear not. You are not alone. Abraham looked forward to a city whose architect and builder is God (Hebrews 11:10). God is taking you to a glorious place.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy Sunday!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

THE POPCORN GENERATION

 

I was thinking this morning...... I attended a training with some colleagues this past week and was discussing how we coped with life in the seventies and eighties. A colleague who became a seafarer at 18 told us how they routinely spend 6 months at sea without phones, video calls, or social media. This was a period when you sent an email, and the shortest time you got a response was 24 hours. How did they even survive those years? How did they not die of boredom?

As he spoke, I reflected on our lives in Warri. How we gathered in the yard to play and wait till 4 pm when TV station resumes. There were no flat screen TVs or video games for us as children. For those lucky enough to have a television, their screen time was no more than 5 hours daily. We didn't die of boredom. Our life was not slow.

Life today is different. Very different. Young people of today live in a bubble. They are the popcorn generation, who wants to change from corn to popcorn in seconds. They live in a fast world, eat fast foods, and drive fast cars except that they do not fast, to strengthen their spirit man.

Oh, the popcorn generation. They say they are socially and upwardly mobile and in a hurry to get rich. The Yahoo gang of that generation spend their time on mobile phones, live in mobile apartments, invest heavily in mobile data and at the end they become guests of mobile police.

For the rest of us that are legit, our lives have become virtual reality. We hold our family and business meetings in virtual spaces. Instead of going on vacation to appreciate nature, we do virtual tours. We spend virtual currency to pay for our kids to have virtual learning. Sadly, we have all become avatars in a virtual world.

When I recently saw my NYSC photo and how my trousers looked like skirt, I knew immediately that the popcorn generation would not understand. Every good thing in life takes time. The radio jingle of old says, "Jeje o, my friend o, no rush life o, you hear. Jeje o, jeje o, take am coolee oo." Where are we in a hurry to? Relax and appreciate life. Ecclesiastes 9:7-9 comes to mind. Be real. Be human. Be alive.

Stay hopeful. God's got our back.

Happy New Month!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey

NA WETIN I GAIN?

 

I was thinking this morning..... It was my colleague's birthday a couple of weeks ago, and in my usual manner, I sent him a short email greeting, saying, "Happy birthday. Kindly accept my best wishes." Everyone else I had sent that message to in the past always responded with a simple "thank you." But this my guy gave a completely different but profound response. He responded, "Thanks, Mr Wey....but wetin I gain if I no receive your best wishes?"

The response got me thinking. Truly, is there a possibility that he wouldn't accept my best wishes? I have always known that "Kindly accept my best wishes" is a polite and formal way of expressing your well wishes to someone. What I have, however, not thought about is whether anyone really considers accepting or not accepting.

I can understand someone rejecting a birthday gift but haven't imagined someone not accepting one's best wishes. As I walked into the office the next morning, still musing on the response, another colleague who had offended me the day before said, "Good morning." My carnal mind was telling me to ignore him, but then my church mind said, "Mr Wey, na wetin you gain if you no receive his good morning?"

The "Na wetin I gain" test is a trigger for deep and honest reflection. There are many things we do that we would not, if only we subject ourselves to the "Na wetin I gain" test. You are a man and said your wife offended you. Therefore, you refused to eat her food or touch her. Chai! Na wetin you gain?

You are in a position of authority. Together with your cronies, you stole the funds meant for providing basic amenities, including health care. When you are sick, you run abroad, forgetting you have family and friends here that will become victims of your failures here. Na wetin you gain?

The Warri bible version of Mark 8:36 says, "Na wetin person go gain if e kolobi the whole world and come kpai im soul?" Before you take the next big decision, ask yourself the question, "Na wetin I gain?"

But wait o... Is today not my mum's birthday? Na wetin you gain if you no join me to send her best wishes?

Happy Birthday, Maami!

......Just the thoughts of a certain Wey Mey